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Posts Tagged ‘surgery’

As you may have figured out by now, the surgery was a success.  The pain was as expected and I ended up with a secondary infection that has since cleared.  I will be taking probiotics for the next few months to balance my stomach after two rounds of antibiotics.

So much has happened since I last wrote.  I won’t go into the details here.  After the surgery I slipped into a deep depression.  It was hard work to care for myself once I was home again, and I wanted to be home so I could be back at work…and yet I struggled to do the things I need to do to be healthy.

I slept a lot because my body needed it.  I ate when I was supposed to, but didn’t always make healthy choices.  I didn’t get out to move as much as I should have because I was sore and depressed.  Thank God that has passed and I am back to my usual goofy self.  I’ve made some decisions about myself and my life…

I have stopped colouring my hair.  I’m going to let the silver come through, or Executive Blonde as I’ve heard it called.  I have bought some new clothes and thinned through  my closet again.  I’m enjoying my body coming back to life after anaesthetic.  I’m using my yoga mat again and while it’s very slow, it’s coming back.

During post-surgical recovery I rediscovered Pinterest.  I’ve now got great ideas for how to decorate the mantle, I began an easy makeover of the laundry room/powder room and am making over my bedroom.  I’m not sure if I’m “nesting” before winter or where the burst of energy has come from, but I’m beginning to feel more like myself.  And I like that.

I’ve made a commitment and promise to myself to get outside every day and walk.  It may be for kilometers and may be for meters, but every day I will get outside.  When you live in the beautiful corner of creation where I do, how can you not get outside?

I’m working with a budgeting program to help keep my expenses in check, my budget balanced and, as of January, begin saving a little bit each month.  I’m truly feeling as though I’m gaining control again over the things I can control and that makes me very happy.

This is my first year in ministry in British Columbia.  The folks here have not seen some of what I do.  And thus far, the feedback has all been positive.  We have recognized All Saints and All Soul’s.  All Soul’s had it’s own service last Wednesday and it was well received.  On Sunday we recognized Remembrance Sunday and it was also very well received.

This week I have a Remembrance Service at the Cenotaph with one of the local schools on Thursday, a Cenotaph Service on Friday morning at 11:00, then another one following at the local Legion, a nursing home gathering at 2:00 pm and that will wrap up Remembrance Day.  Whew!

I’m loving this community and learning more about it.  Meeting people who have introduced me to the arts community, the museum, and other such wonders has been incredible.  I’m enjoying the arts community locally and in the next city over, where I have season tickets to the Symphony of the Kootenays and the Community Theatre.

My work/life balance is the best it’s ever been.  And for that I am thankful.

 

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I struggle, at times, with depression and anxiety.  Most of the time I can cope with medication, relaxation, proper diet, exercise and rest.  Lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed, and it’s completely understandable why I’m feeling this way.

On Friday I’m having surgery.  For the second time in my life I will go under general anesthetic.  I’m not afraid of the surgery.  The surgeon has reassured me that he anticipates the procedure will go well.  The procedures I’m having are minor, taking 20 minutes in total.  The anesthesiologist has reassured me that all shall be well.  She asked if I was nervous and I said I wasn’t and smiled.  She asked why I was smiling and I replied “if things don’t go well, it won’t be my problem…it will be yours.  As you’ll get to tell my congregation”. And we both laughed.

What I fear is the unknown.  Which is truly a silly thing to fear.  And I participate in mental gymnastics…what if I get an infection…what if it takes me hours to come out of the anesthetic…what if something goes wrong?  All legitimate questions, all with unknown answers.  Try to explain that to my anxiety.

I’m not worried about the congregation.  My Wardens and Licensed Lay Ministers will take care of everything in the parish.  My Regional Dean will look after any pastoral emergencies.  And still my innards flutter.

So, between now and Thursday morning when I find out the actual time of the surgery I will keep myself busy, which isn’t difficult to do.  The difficult part is remembering to take time to breathe, to care for myself…to do everything I can to release the anxiety I feel.

I’m staying with a good friend in the community where I’m having the surgery to make sure that I properly rest and don’t overdo things.  Left to my own devices I would push myself too hard and too soon.  I’m told it will be approximately 10 days before I can return to work…I’m giving myself 14 days.  And I fully anticipate returning to work at a bit slower pace then I am maintaining right now.

If you are a person who prays, I ask for your prayers for myself, and also for the doctor’s, nurses and support staff who will take care of me through the surgery.  I ask for your prayers for those who will care for me after the surgery until I am able to care for myself.

Thanks!

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I must say that surgery is an interesting thing.  I don’t like being the centre of attention, which I know is weird, given what I do for a living.  Having the doctors, nurses, techs and whatnot ensuring I was cared for was strange.  I’m used to doing the caring, not being cared for.  My friend drove me to the city where I was having surgery, 45 minutes away.  He was allowed to wait with me before I went in and he prayed with and for me, and the doctors, nurses, techs, and everyone involved at the hospital.  I felt remarkable when he had finished.

The nurse who was preparing me for surgery heard the prayer and cried.  We told the doctor he had been prayed for and he was delighted.  The entire team did an amazing job, even the anaesthetist with no sense of humour.  I commented that the table in the operating room looked like it could be used for crucifixion and he stared blankly.  Which was okay.

I remember the lights in the operating theatre, I remember the IV in my arm.  I remember a mask going over my mouth and being told to breathe deeply.  And then I remember being asked if I was thirsty…and was I ever.  I had a sip of ginger ale and it tasted like the greatest thing ever.  I was parched for 3 days.  Gatorade and water with some tea fixed that.  I felt numb for a couple of days, other than when I stood up or sat down.  Then I cursed.

I am now 8 days since surgery and I’m feeling okay.  I still use pain meds in the day time.  I am standing for longer periods of time.  I am making progress and feeling better.  And tomorrow I go back to work.  Which I am very excited about.  I know it will knock me sideways, but at least I will have done it.  Moving back into the work world and Church land slowly is what I need to do, and am doing.

I am thankful for the surgeon and the doctors.  I am thankful for the nurses and staff who cared for me as a person, not only as a patient.  And I am especially thankful for my friends who rallied around with food, prayers, gentle hugs and care. I never realised how much I am cared for.  Now I have a better idea.  And it warms the cockles of my heart.

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I have never had general anaesthetic before.  Pretty amazing given my age (47).  But it’s true.  I am scheduled for surgery on Friday and I’m nervous about it.  Not nervous about the procedure, the surgeon has my complete faith and he knows what he’s doing.  I’m not nervous about dying, because I’ve made my peace with God and am ready for whatever comes my way.  I am nervous about the anaesthetic and my reaction to it.

I’ve been preparing this week by eating a bland diet.  Drinking lots of water and herbal tea.  Detoxing the processed crap from my diet.  Breathing better.  Getting things in order at the Church for Vestry.  Asking a friend and Deacon to take the services for me so I don’t have to worry about presiding service less than 48 hours after surgery.  I’m even staying overnight at a friend’s house for a couple of nights to make sure I have someone with me.  Another friend is moving in to look after the dogs so they are cared for.

The massive anxiety I have been carrying was lessened significantly when I decided not to work on Sunday.  I know it’s our annual meeting and that’s a really big deal, but so is my health.  The work has been done to get everything ready; well, as ready as things can be for this meeting.  We must remember to leave room for the Holy Spirit.

I will be spending some time at the Church this afternoon putting things away as the office is a pigsty right now, sorting things out, finding files, filing them, etc.  And once that is done I will breathe a great sigh of relief.  I have full trust in our Wardens that they will do a fantastic job of Vestry.  I’d like to be there, but I don’t have to be there.  Vestry happened before I came to my current parish and it will happen again when I’m no longer there.

I have done what makes me comfortable.  I have organised as best I can.  The rest I leave in capable hands.  And it will be what it will be.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to refill my water bottle.  🙂

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