Posts Tagged ‘routine’

One of the things I struggle with is being an “A” type personality. I like things done properly and thoroughly. I am married to a man who does things when he wants to; when he’s ready to do them, which is rarely when I want them done. It has become an increasing issue in our relationship until I realised that I’m imposing what I want/need on him. And that’s not fair.

Yes, he should help out more with the housework. Yes, he shouldn’t have to be asked to take out the garbage. But it doesn’t bother him when it doesn’t get done. It bothers me. So I get upset, and in turn, he gets upset. In the long run, I end up doing it, feeling angry and resentful, and we grow apart.

So, while I know I need routine to function well, I am taking charge of the small things I can control, like cooking and cleaning. I figure, he will either start helping with what he wants to or can do, or he won’t. I can holler and scream (or more likely slam doors and mutter) or I can realise that if it’s that important to me, I can simply do it.

The dogs sleep on our bed. I’m not delighted with that. The bed is constantly full of grit and crud. It should be changed weekly, but the reality is, I don’t always have time to change it weekly. So it will wait a couple of weeks or even longer. Is it gross? Absolutely. Does it mean I won’t be able to sleep? Sometimes. Will I get out of bed in the middle of the night to change it? Sometimes.

But there are priorities in my life. Family is important. Work is important. Friends are important. I am important. And yes, I have noted where I stand in the pecking order. I’m working on that, too.

So my morning routine for now is I am up just after 6:00 am and get the dogs their breakfast, let them out for their morning ablutions. By then my beloved is up and we take the dogs for a half hour walk. He makes coffee, I make morning smoothies and after he’s headed to work, I clean up the kitchen from the previous night’s dinner dishes.

By 9:00 I am either at the Church Office or I’m starting on a task at home. By noon, I am home from the office or stopping my task to feed the dogs and myself. Then it’s either on to pastoral calls/visits, or more tasks at home.

By 4:00 I have an idea what we are doing for dinner, and if necessary I brave the grocery store. Then dinner is cooked, we sit down together to eat at 6:00 pm (ish) and then either clean up the kitchen or leave it until the next day.

I make time for myself with a soak in the tub, therapeutic massage, yoga and the like when I can. And I don’t feel guilty for not making yet another phone call because my back is aching and I need a nap.

I’m beginning to learn its all about balance, and there are things I need to do that make me happy, that don’t particularly matter to anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a slave, but I am trying to stop harping and moaning at my family because something didn’t get put away the way I want to be. There is teaching, there is reminding and there is simply doing it myself.

Balance. It’s all about balance.

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