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Posts Tagged ‘content’

I’ve not been here for awhile.  It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say…I simply wasn’t sure how to say it.  Much has happened.  I moved from the Rectory where I was living into a one-bedroom flat.  It seemed so silly for myself, a middle-aged single woman and a geriatric cat to live in a four-bedroom house.  Now we live in a flat that we both love.  He likes to go into the hallway and pace.  He’ll get about half way down the hallway and then lay down.  Sometimes he’ll snooze there, and as soon as I shake the treat bag he’ll come back.

My commute to work used to be roughly 100 steps.  Now it’s a 3 minute drive.  And that’s okay.  Eventually I’ll walk to work, once I get into a better routine.  I live on the top of a hill, in a ground-floor flat where I can see mountains.  Walking to work is marvellous, the views are spectacular!  Walking home, uphill…takes a little longer.  But I get there.

My flat came partially furnished, which was perfect.  I work on my dining room table, and I moved my bedroom furniture in.  I’ve got only two more boxes to sort through, which I will do by the end of summer.  Right now I’m learning new paths and exploring a new part of the village where I live.

I have a wall in my new flat that has my university degrees, a photo of myself in uniform, my letters of Orders and my license to be at the parish were I am.  It also has a hand-drawn picture of me and God, drawn by a young friend.  And finally, it also contains my dad’s university degree.

Another smaller wall has a series of icons of St. Peter, Jesus and St. Jude.

Just after I moved in I was gifted with a beautiful painting from my family at an Independent Living facility.  Every resident painted a part of the picture and it hangs in a place of honour in my home.  It is something I will treasure forever.

I thought long and hard before I made the decision to move from the Rectory.  It’s not that I didn’t enjoy living there, it was more that I was longing for a place that was uniquely mine.  The Rectory is a church building, meaning it belongs to the Church, and while it was my home, there were times when I didn’t feel that I had a lot of privacy.

I was always mindful of whether I was dressed every day, even on my days off.  I would feel guilty for napping even when I was up half the night working or if I wasn’t feeling well.

Now I’m in a place where I find myself coming and going a lot.  I enjoy living here, learning new ways to get here and finding side-streets and trails to explore.  It feels like home.

I haven’t got all my pictures up yet.  I will soon.  I’m figuring out where things need to be and I’m finding places for all my stuff.  I did a lot of purging before I moved, which was awesome.  I couldn’t believe how much stuff I’d accumulated in the time I’ve been here.  There were several trips to the charity shop and a ton of paper for recycling.  I purged clothes, kitchen stuff, electronics and assorted bric-a-brac.

So for now, I’m looking forward to settling into my new home.  I’m still figuring out where my drop zone is.  Right now it’s the dining room table, but I’ll get there.

A room of one’s own.

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This year, 2017, has only a few hours to go where I live in British Columbia.  Elsewhere it’s already 2018.  I was looking back at the note I wrote this time last year and while much has changed, a lot has also stayed the same.

I had two worship services this year and plans for a fabulous night at a gala event out of town.  Worship went really well, even though it’s been bitterly cold.  When I woke this morning the tap wasn’t working.  I came downstairs and flipped on the kettle to boil water for tea.  I turned on the kitchen tap and there was nothing.  No water.

Frozen pipes?  Yes, but I had more important things to worry about…like my morning tea and getting ready for worship.  Both services were wonderful and we celebrated Epiphany.  I enjoyed a bit of fellowship and collected hints and tips for how to deal with frozen pipes.  I came home, made another cup of tea and pulled out my hair dryer and extension cord.  Plugged them in, aimed them at the pipes under the sink in the kitchen and after about two minutes the hairdryer stopped.  So did the kettle.  I flipped a fuse switch.

My Warden is a Godsend.  When she heard I had frozen pipes she offered me water, a place to shower, even a bed for the night.  On New Year’s Eve!  As things unfolded we kept in touch with each other…and thankfully this means I’ll have water for the end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018.  Yay!

After consulting a friend for advice I called the plumber.  He told me what to look for if it was a frozen pipe.  Then he suggested I call the City which I did and was able to talk to someone on call.  I then cleared off my car and drove to Canadian Tire.  Bought a space heater and came home.  Plugged the space heater in downstairs and after about 10 minutes heard water running…in a good way.  I called the plumber back and he told me I had been successful in thawing the pipes and what I needed to do to keep them that way.  He’s coming back on Tuesday to check everything out.  I celebrated with a hot bath.

My plans to go out of town were scuppered by Mother Nature.  And instead of being angry and upset about that I realised that I likely needed a quiet night at home more than anything else.

A few months ago I adopted an 11 year old black Domestic short-haired cat.  His name is Buddy.  He’s beginning to like me…I think.  He doesn’t hiss as much at me and purrs when he’s around me…especially when I’m in the bath.  I don’t know why.  I never imagined myself to be a cat person…but here I am.  He’s messier than I’d like him to be but chances are I’m dumber than he’d like me to be.  He “talks” to me quite often and I have no idea what he wants.  Although I am pretty sure he’s told me off a time or two.

About a month ago I turned 50.  It’s been awesome!  I’m enjoying this age more than any other so far.  I’m hoping that continues.  I’ve auditioned for and been accepted into the Vagina Monologues which will be happening in February.  It’s been more than 20 years since I was on a stage.  So this will really be something.  I’m scared to death, but also quite excited.  It’s a tremendous group of women who are coming together to make something amazing happen in this small corner of the world we call home.

This year has been about learning…about myself, my heart, my mind and my soul.  I meditate most every day.  I walk outside most every day.  I set goals for myself and while my weight is not as low as I’d like it to be, over the past year I’ve lost 15 pounds.  So that’s something.  I’m eating better, drinking more water, and moving more.

I’d have to say I’m more content then I’ve ever been.  I love who I am, and who I am going to be.  I’ve said goodbye to a couple of toxic relationships and feel a tremendous sense of freedom from that.  I’m sleeping better and don’t fret if I choose an afternoon nap.

My goals for 2018 are to laugh more, love more, read more and learn a new skill.  I’m thinking of learning the ukulele.  I want to lose more weight but more importantly I want to be comfortable in the skin I’m in.  I want to be as healthy as I can be and I have a women’s fitness membership that I intend to use more regularly in 2018.

This is my 50th year on Earth.  I’ve been through a lot.  Seen a lot.  Hugged a lot.  Cried a lot.  Learned a lot.  I drove through parts of Northern Ontario that I’d not seen in 20+ years last summer and it was amazing what had changed; and what had stayed the same.  I visited my father’s grave for the first time since he was interred in 2012.

My goal is not to be famous, wealthy or revered.  I long for a simple life filled with amazing people.  I want to live within my means, make a difference in my community and in some small way contribute to the love in the world.  I truly believe that through love we can change the world.  One heart at a time, one relationship at a time, one encounter at a time.

I am fifty, fat and fabulous.  I will learn, love and listen.  In my own small, quirky way I intend to change the world.  Care to join me?

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As you may have figured out by now, the surgery was a success.  The pain was as expected and I ended up with a secondary infection that has since cleared.  I will be taking probiotics for the next few months to balance my stomach after two rounds of antibiotics.

So much has happened since I last wrote.  I won’t go into the details here.  After the surgery I slipped into a deep depression.  It was hard work to care for myself once I was home again, and I wanted to be home so I could be back at work…and yet I struggled to do the things I need to do to be healthy.

I slept a lot because my body needed it.  I ate when I was supposed to, but didn’t always make healthy choices.  I didn’t get out to move as much as I should have because I was sore and depressed.  Thank God that has passed and I am back to my usual goofy self.  I’ve made some decisions about myself and my life…

I have stopped colouring my hair.  I’m going to let the silver come through, or Executive Blonde as I’ve heard it called.  I have bought some new clothes and thinned through  my closet again.  I’m enjoying my body coming back to life after anaesthetic.  I’m using my yoga mat again and while it’s very slow, it’s coming back.

During post-surgical recovery I rediscovered Pinterest.  I’ve now got great ideas for how to decorate the mantle, I began an easy makeover of the laundry room/powder room and am making over my bedroom.  I’m not sure if I’m “nesting” before winter or where the burst of energy has come from, but I’m beginning to feel more like myself.  And I like that.

I’ve made a commitment and promise to myself to get outside every day and walk.  It may be for kilometers and may be for meters, but every day I will get outside.  When you live in the beautiful corner of creation where I do, how can you not get outside?

I’m working with a budgeting program to help keep my expenses in check, my budget balanced and, as of January, begin saving a little bit each month.  I’m truly feeling as though I’m gaining control again over the things I can control and that makes me very happy.

This is my first year in ministry in British Columbia.  The folks here have not seen some of what I do.  And thus far, the feedback has all been positive.  We have recognized All Saints and All Soul’s.  All Soul’s had it’s own service last Wednesday and it was well received.  On Sunday we recognized Remembrance Sunday and it was also very well received.

This week I have a Remembrance Service at the Cenotaph with one of the local schools on Thursday, a Cenotaph Service on Friday morning at 11:00, then another one following at the local Legion, a nursing home gathering at 2:00 pm and that will wrap up Remembrance Day.  Whew!

I’m loving this community and learning more about it.  Meeting people who have introduced me to the arts community, the museum, and other such wonders has been incredible.  I’m enjoying the arts community locally and in the next city over, where I have season tickets to the Symphony of the Kootenays and the Community Theatre.

My work/life balance is the best it’s ever been.  And for that I am thankful.

 

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Lent is my favourite season in the Church.  Holy Week is a marathon of services, in my case 10 services in 8 days.  By the end of the week I’m astonished, exhausted, relieved, overwhelmed and just about any other emotion you can imagine.  In short, I am absolutely spent.

Usually I don’t take too much time off after Easter because there’s always the next thing to do; Bible Study, homiletic preparation, study, liturgical preparation.  This year I decided to take 4 days off after Easter, but not all together.  And that was intentional.

Yesterday I took my first day trip south of the border since I moved to the small town in BC where I now reside.  It was wonderful.  Thankfully I had a tour guide who drove so I could oohh and aahh as we drove along.  Every now and then one of us would see something, and exclaim “LOOK”.  Then we’d stop the car, get out and look.

If I had to recreate the trip I likely could, with some consultation from the driver.  It was, all in all, a perfect day off.  I didn’t talk about work.  I didn’t think about work.  I simply was.  We gazed at vistas, mountains, trees, lakes, rocks, plains.  And marveled in the glory of God.

We talked as we traveled…okay I did most of the talking…and also enjoyed listening to music and traveling in silence.

Today I had great plans of things I was going to get done around the house…dusting, laundry, washing the floor…and I’ve decided instead to relax.  The housework will wait.  My dining room table needs cleaning off and the table cloth needs laundering, but it doesn’t need to happen today.

Today is about self-care.  It’s about resting.  Refreshing.  Relaxing.  Tomorrow I’m back at it, happily and Thursday I have Easter home communions, which I enjoy.  Then Friday and Saturday I’m off.  This time brings out my itchy feet…my wanderlust.  And while part of me would love to get in the car and go, my body is telling me to slow down and rest.

And *gasp*, I’m listening.

So I’ve made myself a cup of tea and will head over to the post office later and maybe pick up some bagels, but otherwise, I’m a home body today.

And that’s just grand!

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I don’t mean that in a derogatory or negative way.  I look around me and I see people with huge lives, always running, busy, busy, busy.  In debt, in therapy, under stress to “keep up appearances” and I simply don’t understand that.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I wanted the best of everything.  The problem wasn’t that I wanted the best…but that I wanted EVERYTHING.  And I’m not (and never will be) in a financial position to buy everything that I see…everything that I want.  And that’s okay.  It’s better than okay.  It’s grand!

As I age my needs are simpler.  I need God, shelter, food, clothing and love.  Most everything else is a want.  I want classical music.  I want deep conversation.  I want meaningful relationships.  I want good food, with the occasional junk food meal thrown in.  I want hiking sticks, and good books.  I want breathtaking sunsets, meaningful liturgy and uncontrollable laughter.

I want memories, not things.

Because of where I now live, I can walk most everywhere, which I enjoy.  Even when it rains I can walk.

I have a small circle of friends.  I have a beautiful home in which to live.  I have a vehicle that gets me where I need to be when I can’t walk there.  I have love.  I have people that I can talk to about the things that matter.  I have food in my cupboard, money in my bank and even some in my pocket.  I have clothing.

When I look around I realise that life is not a competition.

I don’t want to be a competitive skier.  In fact, I don’t want to compete at anything.  I don’t want what “society” tells me I want and need to be happy.  I don’t need designer clothes.  I don’t need caviar (seriously, ick)  I don’t need fine china or expensive champagne.

When I look around my life I realise that for the first time in a long time I have enough.  I have exactly what I need and want in my life.  And that means everything to me.

Life, as they say, is grand.

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