my Dad died. It was a “good death”. He simply stopped breathing. His wish had been to die alone and he did. My Dad was a stubborn man, and I inheirited that remarkable trait. For some reason I’ve been thinking of my Dad a lot this past year, especially when I was moving across the country.
On that day my Mam and I had been to the cemetery to make arrangements for interment. We stopped by the hospital and chatted with Dad. Mam had some time with him while I chatted with the nurses. We knew the end was coming but didn’t know if it was hours or days. When dad finished his conversation with Mam he winked at her…something he had not done in a long time. Something he used to do often when they were courting.
I asked if it was okay for us to go to our next stop, the funeral home. He said to go ahead, he wasn’t going anywhere. Dad believed in being organized, another trait I inheirited. I told him we’d be back in a couple of hours, he said not to worry. As we concluded the conversation I said “Dad, I -” and he interrupted with “Shut it!” I laughed and said I’d see him soon. He replied “Take it easy”. His signature response.
My Mam and I went to the funeral home to make arrangements, leaving dates blank. Pages and pages of administrative details were signed off and then I took Mam home for a cigarette and a decent cup of tea. I called the hospital from Mam’s and the nurse told me Dad had died about 45 minutes earlier…peacefully. We were in the funeral director’s office at the time.
I told my Mam. She started to cry. I called my brother and spoke with my sister-in-law who said she’d tell him. I called the funeral home and told the funeral director we needed to get things started. She was shocked. So were we.
The next few days were a blur with arrangements, conversations, visitors, shopping for a funeral suit, dress, shoes, writing a homily for my Dad…and of course, choosing music and readings for the service.
I think Dad would have been pleased with the send off he received. Many of his colleagues were there, and many of his former students. My brother gave a great eulogy and I gave a homily and when we were finished the Legionnaires formed an honour guard and laid poppies on a wreath. The Sgt at Arms and I presented my Mam with the first poppy pinned and then we played Frank Sinatra singing “My Way”. Very poignant as Dad always did things his way.
I’ve a busy day today as it’s Sunday. But when my work day is over I will go to a local pub and raise a pint to my Dad. I can’t get Labbatt Blue here (thanks be to God), but I will raise a pint of local lager to him.
I love you Dad. I miss you. Take it easy.
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