Before I moved west I was a basket case. There were specific reasons for this, mostly involving my home life, but I was also struck by how incredibly tired I was. Perpetually weary, I dreaded mornings and longed for my bed…sweet escape of sleep.
I still served my congregation and I was still pretty good at it…but I felt overwhelmingly empty. I would work, and work, and work. And never seem to finish anything. I’d be filled with guilt if I didn’t return a phone call or respond immediately to an email. It was frustrating and soul-rendering. And I could not, for the life of me, figure out why.
I made a promise to myself when I made the decision to move parishes, that I would establish good boundaries, good life balance and try to be better at this whole life thing. That began with the drive. My traveling companion and I stopped every day, at some point during the trip, to discover something…and usually to laugh. We stopped as close to dark as we could and explored wherever we were. We would take a swim, find something for dinner, and otherwise decompress from the day.
When I got here I was conscious of my time. And so was the rest of the congregation and community. When I met with my Regional Dean he offered to be part of my self-care team. He would hold me accountable to taking day(s) off and caring for myself as much as I care for the community. I readily agreed. And, for the record, he does make sure I take my days off. And that at least once a week, I do something fun, just for myself.
In all fairness, the respect in this is mutual and I encourage the same from him.
Usually Easter Monday I’m exhausted. I take to my bed and stay there, completely worn out from over-extending myself during Holy Week. This year that didn’t happen. I was intentional in taking time during Holy Week to focus on what was most important and didn’t fill my calendar with “should do” events. Everything on my calendar was “must do”. And that made a huge difference.
Easter Monday I had an opportunity to take a day trip south of the border…somewhere I had never been before. I went and the experience was amazing. There was a great deal of sightseeing. There was laughter, conversation, music, prayer, absolute joy. When I got home from that near perfect day I felt relaxed, refreshed, peaceful. I felt peace-filled! I felt unadulterated joy. BALANCE!
If you’ve looked at the word cloud, one of the largest words is Balance. It is something I seek and something for which I am very mindful. I don’t always achieve balance. I do my best. Lately, I’m getting better with it. And that makes me feel like I’m on top of the world.
For me, one of the biggest lessons learned is that I don’t have to do it all *gasp*. And it will still be okay. Another of the lessons is that if I don’t take care of myself, I cannot take care of others. *shock* Taking time for me, sets a good example for the congregation. Taking time for me means I can be happy in myself and therefore of higher service to my congregation, friends and family. And especially in right relationship with my God.
My routine lately is to wake a bit early, give thanks for the day, say morning devotions and prayers. Get up, dressed, and walk, sometimes to the chiropractor, sometimes to the post office. As part of every day I get outside, whether it’s raining, sunny, windy. Even if just for 20 minutes I get outside. I’m drinking more water. I’m consuming less caffeine. I’m moving my body more. I’m slowing down and savouring everything around me. I’m aware, I’m mindful. I’m happy…I’m peaceful. I’ve found balance!
Everything around me looks brighter, clearer, more awesome, every single day. And for that I am eternally grateful.
Thanks be to God.
well said !