All my life I’ve had a love/hate relationship with food. I am a self-described food addict. When I eat, I tend to eat a lot and when I crave, it’s never for healthy food.
Something that I’ve been seeing a lot of lately is articles about foods you should “never” eat. Foods that are “poison” and foods that can kill. Seriously? Toast is evil? Give me a break.
I should eat better than I do. And I will admit that on occasion supper is a bag of Smartfood. Which really isn’t all that smart. I know what I need to do to eat healthier and better. The problem is being motivated enough to actually do it.
In just over two weeks I’m heading to southeastern British Columbia. A whole new way of life. A new culture, a new geography, new grocery stores, and a whole new level of panic and anxiety. I know my local grocery store. And I’m sure it won’t take me long to learn my new grocery store. But the fear is real.
I am not moving with any food. I’m taking some of my favourite tea with me, the rest I will buy when I get there. Stocking a pantry, buying spices and condiments is both exciting and terrifying. I’m taking reusable bags with me to never use a plastic shopping bag again.
I will buy cookwear when I get there. And bakeware. I’d like to stay I’ll plant a little garden, but the reality is, I likely won’t.
I’d love to homestead where I grow my own food. But the reality is I don’t have the knowledge, experience or motivation to do any of these things. And that’s okay.
I am recommitting myself to a pescatarian lifestyle. A pescatarian is a person who is a vegetarian but eats fish. I have the proper supplements so I will be healthier in myself and in my diet.
Yes, I’m fat. Yes, I shop in fat girl stores. I’d like to lose weight but I don’t think my body is ready to let go of a lot of the stress it’s been holding. If I was a betting person I’d say that my cortisol levels are extremely high, due mostly to the stress with which I am surrounded.
Once I get moved I will re-establish a healthy routine that will include exercise, yoga, meditation, prayer and silence. I will eat healthier than I am right now. Because I will be ready. The weather here has been mild but also slippery. I’ve fallen a couple of times in the last two weeks, and while the injuries were minor, it’s scared me, to the point where I don’t want to venture outside.
This morning it was raining. Rain in January scares me because when it changes it’s almost always to ice first, then snow. Sure enough a winter storm whipped up, and there’s a thin layer of ice beneath the snow outside.
I’m not sure why I’m so scared. I suspect, in part, it’s because I don’t want to arrive in my new pastoral charge physically damaged. They hired someone with all appendages intact, I’d like to arrive that way.
I’ve started bookmarking recipes again, especially ones that replace pasta noodles with veggies. That kind of thing makes me very happy. I’m looking forward to buying a soup pot and I have two special soup bowls that are coming with me.
My goal as I pack and prepare to move is to downsize and simplify my life. I don’t need much to be happy. Open space, uncluttered, is good.
I think I will be writing more regularly as I prepare to move. I may even blog at the end of each travel day. Only time and wifi will tell.
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