Barefoot Bellringing

I am not sure that fabulousness is a word, but from now on, I say it is.

I have struggled with my weight for many years. I would like to be thinner than I am. Recently I have questioned my motives for wanting to be thinner. It all comes down to numbers. Why? I don’t honestly know. I weigh over 200 lbs. Most people who see me would never guess that I weigh that much. But for some reason, I believe that weighing over 200 lbs makes me “fat” and unattractive.

The fact is, I’m healthier now than I’ve been in a decade. I tried juicing and it is something I will continue doing, but not every day. I like to make fruit smoothies, but again, not every day. I am realising (FINALLY) that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Life is lived in the shades of grey, in the in-between times. If I want to wear a mini-skirt, I will wear a mini-skirt. If I want to wear a figure-hugging dress, I will do so. If I want to rock a pair of heels, I will do so. Etc.

This summer I have been paring things down; simplifying them. I have already thinned down my books, knick-knacks, paper, and am still working on photographs. I have roughly a dozen boxes/containers to go through to sort things out. What do I have to keep. What can I let go of.

I bought an elliptical trainer four years ago and used it about 25 times. It’s too hard on my knees. So I gave it away to a friend who loves elliptical trainers. And I feel great about that.

I have a yoga mat that I use most days. Sometimes I do yoga stretches and movements, and other times I simply lay on it and meditate, or sit up and meditate or some combination of the two.

I live my life better with routine. I used to measure everything by a set of rules, which were quite complicated. I’ve let some of that go.

My cell phone is now just a cell phone. I cannot check email on it, plan a trip or surf the web. And I’m absolutely okay with that. I have a laptop that is second-hand, but works perfectly for my needs.

I have a desk that is not used. Not ever. So I’m debating about whether to get rid of, repurpose or simply leave it. And as I think of it, the last option is not a feasible option. Should I sell the things I no longer need? I likely could, but for what gain? Yes, the money would come in handy, but if there is someone who needs something that I have, why not give it to them?

Recently I went through my jewellery and cleared out a whole bunch that I no longer wear. In going through some boxes I found an old jewellery box that contained, among other things, my wedding ring from my last marriage. Why did I keep it? Do I still need to keep it? How will I dispose of it?

Yesterday I cleared out a bunch of purses and bags that I have had for years. I kept about a dozen…which go with shoes and outfits I currently own. Next week I am going to cruise my wardrobe and look at blazers, jackets, dresses, etc., that I no longer wear. And I will get rid.

I don’t need more stuff in my life. I need to embrace what I have that brings me joy and makes me feel good about myself. I am not a model, I have no desire to be a model. I am a human being that tends to hold on to too much stuff.

So I’m thinning out and simplifying.

I am embracing myself in all my fabulousness.

Look out world, hear me roar!