My dreaded insomnia has returned. Yesterday my Beloved and I saw our marriage counsellor and, as usual, I ended up in tears. It was horrible. But at least now I have a plan for recovery. I am completely exhausted and am taking time to be well. Finally.
The shelves in my living room have all been dusted and cleaned. The books that felt overwhelming have been pared down and put on the shelves in the living room. I have many books that now need new homes. They are all askew on shelves in the home office, and for now, that’s how they’ll stay. Eventually I will invite a select few to come and peruse and what they don’t take will be donated to a Christian bookstore.
I am a keeper of paper. I’m not sure why, but I am. I have an attachment to it like nothing else in my life. Last night I went to bed at my usual time, following my usual routine, but woke up fretting, about 2:30 am. I got up and tried to read, but I couldn’t concentrate. So I went into the home office which now has empty floor space and started going through boxes. It was meant to be one box, but I sorted through four banker boxes of paper. Notes from my undergraduate days. Notes from my MDiv. Essays, stories, sheet music, all kinds of things were found.
Evaluations from CPE and SPE. Report cards, certificates of merit. I pulled out of each box what I “had” to keep…what was still meaningful to me. When I was finished, I had filled three of the four banker boxes with paper to be shredded/recycled. I also pared down my home files…most of which will be going to the Church as that’s where they should be. Some for which I have electronic copies, I have set aside for shredding. I don’t need the hard copy.
This morning my Beloved loaded the three boxes into the back of my car. Later this morning I am going to take them to a stationary store that does shredding. And I won’t look back.
This simplification process is going really well. Now mind you, there are two boxes upstairs and two downstairs that need attention. They have memorabilia that have been meaningful to me for a long time. One day I will go through them and sort out what I must have and give away what no longer holds the same meaning.
There will always be something else to sort out, something else to clean up and something else to simplify. I must say this process has been very enlightening and lightening, in every way possible.
This is the summer of my simplification. And so far, it is going very well. Full steam ahead.
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