Barefoot Bellringing

Over the past several months I’ve been doing different things with my appearance. My weight is changing, I’m losing weight rather slowly, and I’m noticing that clothing fits differently. It’s as though my body is shapeshifting. For example, recently I went to get fitted for a bra. I have pretty significant body image issues, but the lovely clerk at the plus sized store I went to, was, in fact, plus sized herself. She was knowledgeable, friendly, and a great deal of fun.

After nearly an hour of her time (I didn’t realise it was anywhere near that much time when I was with her) I learned that I am a 40D. I was stunned to be that large. But I was the proud owner of two new bras that fit beautifully and made me look awesome! It truly is amazing what properly fitting undergarments can do for a girl.

I had great ideas that I am going to go for a walk every, single day. The reality is, it doesn’t happen much more often than it happens. Sleep is a precious commodity for me and right now I am not willing to sacrifice it for a walk. I do make small changes though, like parking in one central location when I go to the mall, and then walking back to the car between stores. Every little bit helps, right?

I’ve also started dancing. In my house. By myself. Bonus! It scares the dogs so they leave me alone. I pull up a song on my mp3 player, and dance for about 15-20 minutes. I jump around, wave my arms in the air, likely look like a complete dork, but do I ever feel better when I’m finished. Sometimes I do it more than once in a day. I don’t do it every day, but when I do I say I should do it more. One day.

My hairstyle and colour is also changing. I was colouring it darker and keeping it very short, in a pixie styled cut. Over the past few months I’ve been growing out my hair and have had blonde highlights added. I will do the blonde highlights one more time, and then will ask for darker lowlights for fall and winter. Because hair is a fashion accessory and I like to play with mine. I’ve actually started using a hairdryer again. Some days are great hair days; others, not so much.

I’m excited to mix and match my wardrobe. I’m wearing makeup. I’m caring about my appearance. All of these are signs that my depression is lifting and that’s always awesome.

I’ve realised that it’s not vain to care about my appearance. It’s not vain to go for a pedicure or massage. These are things that are worked into the budget. I preach barefoot, so my feet need to be presentable. Massage helps to work out the physical symptoms of stress, thus making me feel better (and often, that much closer to human).

Last week and this week are very heavy days, workload wise. So I take one appointment or commitment at a time. At the end of the day I look back and shake my head, but so far, I’m able to keep my perspective and to ensure there is fun booked into each week.

Because that’s how I roll.