Barefoot Bellringing

I received a phone call this morning from a young colleague in the community. She and I have done a couple of shared services and I enjoy and admire her energy and enthusiasm. In December we did a Service of Light and Remembrance for people who had suffered a loss or simply found a traditional Christmas service difficult.

On the week leading up to the service I was coming down with the ‘flu and by the day of the event I had little if any voice left. It was our turn to host and thus my turn to “preach”. My colleague did the lion’s share of the work and was happy to do so.

We massed her congregation and mine, her choir and mine. The turnout wasn’t exorbitant, but the weather was also iffy. At the end of the service I received many positive comments about my message and at the prospect of us working together again.

This morning she told me that her elders were “concerned” about her working with me because of the language I use. I try to keep my language as neutral as possible, but on occasion a rendering of vernacular slips into my message. I tried to remember which words may be considered inappropriate and couldn’t really come up with anything.

I know a time, not that long ago, when I would have been insulted and offended. But today I realised that the theological background of our two denominations is different and the language issue wasn’t necessarily the issue, but the theological language.

My colleague was hesitant to raise the issue, but I assured her it didn’t change how I felt about her, and the desire to continue working with her and the congregation.

So just before the morning Ash Wednesday service, I sent her an email with the history of ecumenism in my six years in the community, as well as a heartfelt apology for any words that may have offended. I also expressed a desire to work with her and her congregation on a go-forward basis.

She replied immediately, by email, that she was sure this would smooth some ruffled feathers and may open the way for the two of us to work together again.

I must admit, I swear worse than anyone I know. I can make sailors and truckers blush. I try not to let this language slip into homilies, but an occasional “that sucks” works it way in.

I know there are better ways to communicate, and I am going to try to use more neutral, but still accessible language in my homilies.

I don’t want anyone to feel they can’t say something to me, or I will be offended by their language. But I also appreciate when I am told that my language has offended. Because that is never my intention.

It is time for me to re-evaluate the words I use and how I use them. I will still be as accessible and transparent as I can be, while endeavouring to be more sensitive to how a word I use is received.

Blessed by the One who Created us, Sustains us, Nurtures us and Forgives us.